Why Are Girls Often Missed?

Historically, autism has been studied and diagnosed primarily in boys. According to the National Autistic Society, the current gender ratio is around 3:1, but many believe this underestimates how many girls are actually autistic. Girls are often better at mimicking social norms, leading professionals to miss or misinterpret signs—especially if the girl is bright, verbal, or well-behaved in school.

 

Here Are 10 Common Signs of Autism in Girls That Are Often Missed:

1. Masking or Camouflaging

Many autistic girls learn to “act normal” by copying peers or mimicking behaviours. This can involve forcing eye contact, rehearsing social scripts, or smiling when unsure. Masking is exhausting and can lead to anxiety or burnout, but it often means autism is missed by teachers or GPs.

2. Intense Internal Worlds

Girls may have very rich, imaginative inner lives—often involving fantasy animals, characters, or elaborate role-play. Unlike the “typical” special interests seen in autistic boys, these interests can seem more socially acceptable and therefore fly under the radar.

3. Perfectionism and High Anxiety

Autistic girls may strive to get everything “just right,” especially at school. They can appear high-achieving, but this perfectionism often masks underlying social confusion or fear of doing something wrong. This is sometimes misdiagnosed as anxiety alone.

4. Difficulty with Friendship Boundaries

Many autistic girls want friendships but struggle with the unspoken rules. They may come across as overly intense, too clingy, or too distant. Often, they experience rejection or bullying but can’t fully understand why.

5. Selective Mutism or Quietness

Rather than being disruptive, autistic girls may go the other way—completely shutting down in unfamiliar settings. Teachers might describe them as “shy” or “daydreamy,” delaying recognition of autism.

6. Extreme Sensory Sensitivities

From itchy clothing and loud noises to bright lights or unexpected touch, many autistic girls have strong sensory reactions—but they might hide them until they reach a breaking point at home.

7. Emotion Regulation Difficulties

Autistic girls might have frequent meltdowns or shutdowns at home, particularly after a school day of masking. This leads some professionals to assume the issues lie with parenting, not neurodevelopment.

8. Struggles with Unstructured Social Situations

Playtimes, sleepovers, or group activities can be overwhelming. Girls might avoid them entirely or rely on one “safe friend” to navigate social spaces.

9. Strong Sense of Justice or Literal Thinking

They may be very rule-focused, sensitive to fairness, or struggle with sarcasm and vague language. While sometimes labelled “sensitive,” this may be a key indicator of autism.

10. Delayed or Misdiagnosed

Girls are often first diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or eating disorders—particularly during adolescence. Without recognising the autistic traits underneath, treatment can miss the mark.

 

What to Do If You Suspect Autism in a Girl

If you recognise several of these traits in your child, student, or yourself, trust your instincts. You can speak to your GP, school SENCO, or seek a private autism assessment. At MakeWell, we offer neuroaffirming autism assessments and support, including for girls, women, and non-binary individuals who’ve been overlooked.

 

You Can Also Explore Resources From:

• The National Autistic Society (NAS) – www.autism.org.uk
• Ambitious About Autism – www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk
• Girl-specific support – Check out books like “Sincerely, Your Autistic Child” or “Spectrum Women” for lived experience perspectives.

 

You’re Not Alone

Autistic girls deserve to be seen, heard, and supported—not overlooked. Early understanding can make a big difference. If you’d like to learn more about how we can help at MakeWell, feel free to reach out or book a consultation with our friendly team.