Helping Your Child: Getting Support from School for ADHD or Autism Assessment

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Helping Your Child: Getting Support from School for ADHD or Autism Assessment

23 / May

For Parents of Children Who Mask at School

🔍 Understanding the Challenge

Many children with ADHD or autism mask their struggles at school, showing calm behaviour in class while experiencing anxiety, distress, or meltdowns at home. This can make it hard for schools to see the full picture—delaying assessment and support.

 

📝 Step 1: Keep a Home Log

Track what happens outside school, such as:

  • Emotional outbursts or shutdowns after school
  • Sensory sensitivities (e.g. clothing, noise, crowds)
  • Sleep issues, appetite changes, or school refusal
  • Social challenges or obsessive behaviours

This helps build evidence that your child’s difficulties are real and consistent.

 

🗣️ Step 2: Engage with the School

✅ Be Clear and Specific

  • “My child holds it together at school, but falls apart at home.”
  • “We’re seeing signs that suggest ADHD/autism and need support in exploring this.”

✅ Request a Meeting

Ask for a meeting with the SENCo (Special Educational Needs Coordinator), class teacher, or pastoral lead.

 

🛠️ Step 3: Ask for Practical Support

You can ask the school to:

  • Start observations or informal monitoring
  • Complete screening tools (some schools can do this as a first step)
  • Provide in-school support even without a diagnosis (e.g. quiet space, movement breaks)
  • Make a referral to the educational psychologist or local neurodevelopmental team (based on area)

 

🧾 Step 4: Put It in Writing

Follow up your meeting with a short, polite email summary:

“Thank you for meeting today. As discussed, we’re seeing signs of possible ADHD/autism at home and would appreciate the school’s support in monitoring and helping with a referral.”

This creates a paper trail and shows your request is reasonable and documented.

💬 Tips for a Positive Relationship

  • Frame your requests around the child’s well-being, not blame.
  • Acknowledge the school’s limitations, but stay firm in asking for next steps.
  • Stay calm and consistent—even if it takes follow-up.

 

💡 Remember:

You do not need a diagnosis for your child to start receiving help.
Your voice and your observations as a parent matter—you are your child’s best advocate.